“When your mother scolds you, you can look elsewhere and thinkabout
other things. Just ignore her words. But remember: such atough attitude
cannot be used often.”
In traditional Chinese families, child-rearing was strictly women’s
work, while fathers remained aloof.
Today, fathers increasingly play a significant parenting role.
These words are from a series of cartoons which outline skillsfor
children to fight against their mothers. The images havecreated heated
debate among Chinese netizens。
For both Carl Gu and his two-year-old daughter Cindy, it was a disaster
when mother went on a business trip two weeks ago. Though she reminded
her husband again and again of Cindy’s habits and needs and told him
exactly what to do, he could barely manage.
For two days, the 34-year-old banker could not keep the girl still in
her highchair for a meal; he couldn’t find her favorite animated episode
in early childhood education; he couldn’t stop her crying by offering
her favorite milk. He wasn’t even sure how much milk powder was needed
for a bottle of water.
Labeled as “a book for children aged 6 to 12 who are alwaysscolded by
their parents”, the cartoons, drawn by two 10-year-oldBeijing girls,
list over 20 skills which children can use to dealwith their mothers`
anger such as crying, pretending to be ashamed,fleeing into the toilet
and pleasing her afterwards。
Somehow, he muddled through.
“It was the first time I took care of the baby all by myself. I did not
know what she needed, and I could not find what I needed,” says Gu, who
was exhausted after one day.
新葡京娱乐城，Each skill is described with vivid pictures and humorousnotes. The
creativity of the young girls has amazed netizens。
Usually, mother took charge and grandmother helped during the day, but
the elderly woman caught cold, so dad had to step in.
“It is just not my thing, or it is just not a man thing,” says Gu.
According to one of the girls` mothers, her daughter oncereceived a
poor mark in an exam, and the mother blamed her andcompared her
performance with another classmate. The daughter`sfeelings led to her
creating the cartoons。
He is a typical father who doesn’t do the hands-on child-rearing —
feeding, cleaning up, changing diapers, dressing, bathing and playing.
But increasingly fathers are stepping in and playing a larger role in
their child’s upbringing, spending more quality time with their sons and
He identifies with the celebrity parenting reality TV show “Dad, Where
Are We Going” that ended last month, one of the year’s most popular TV
shows in China.
The girl`s father, who first posted the pictures on his SohuMicroblog
on Monday, said he hopes parents take heed of thepictures, allow
children to feel free to develop their owncharacteristics and try not to
criticize them so often。
Five celebrity dads from different fields and their children spent a
couple of days away from home and away from mother, often visiting a
village or unknown town. Dad had to do everything — preparing meals,
making sure children brushed their teeth, guiding them as they walked
around, finding teaching moments and bonding.
Many of the fathers were just as befuddled as Gu.
The father said the cartoons aren`t finished yet; his daughterwill
continue with them when she has time。
The show touched viewers by showing the affection between fathers and
children, and it generated considerable discussion about the father’s
role in family education.
The traditional value of “nan zhu wai, nu zhu nei” (men’s work is
outside, women’s work is inside the home) has dominated Chinese family
culture for centuries.
The cartoons, although maybe an individual case, reflects amodern
phenomenon and some of the problems within Chinese familyeducation, said
Yu Qinfang, an expert on family education inShanghai。
The divisions were clear, man as breadwinner, woman as mother and
Thus, when children are badly behaved or do poorly in school, people
have tended to blame the mother; seldom are fingers pointed at men who
play little part in a child’s education.
According to a survey of 104 children and their parents, Yudiscovered
that as many as 51.9 percent of primary school studentshate being urged
to do things by their mothers。
Much of that thinking persists today.
Stacy Qu, a 23-year-old journalist, says that her father never attended
a parents’ meeting at school and hadn’t a clue about her teachers over
the years. He didn’t even know her major in university.
Not giving children enough time and hurrying them to do thingseems to be
a very tiny detail within family life, but it ispotentially a huge
problem which can easily be ignored by parents,said Yu. A mother`s
blame may lead to negative feelings within herchild`s heart, Yu said;
parents should learn to blame less and bemore patient。
A 2009 survey on father’s participation in education was carried out by
the China Youth Daily on www.sina.com. Of the 1,988 participants, 46.9
percent said their mothers were more responsible for their education,
28.7 percent said parents shared responsibility, 11.4 percent cited
“others.” Only 13 percent said fathers were the major educators.
Work pressure was cited as the major reason for fathers’ absence in
child rearing, while traditional values — it’s not men’s work — ranked
Caring for her son is 41-year-old bank executives Shirley Shi’s “second
career” since she gave birth 14 years ago.